The Girl Who

The Girl Who
I don't wish to impart the impression that I am fighting aging. I love the wisdom that inevitably accompanies age. But it IS alarming how quickly Father Time sneaks up on you and delivers a rapid fire succession of jabs to your kidneys. your eyes. your knees. your aching back. Luckily I'm only afflicted with the shitty eyesight, but still.
Just yesterday I was the youngest news producer in Salt Lake City. I reveled in my status,[url=http://duveticavestesfr.halod.com/][b]duvetica vestes paris boutique[/b][/url], having clawed my way to a job usually reserved for older, more experienced journalists. But I'm no longer the youngest person in the newsroom. The simple fact that I'm working in a newsroom doesn't hold the same acclaim at 29 as it did at 22. I'd get a little zing when 45 year old anchors seriously read the words I drummed up in my humble 22 year old brain. I'd marvel that millions of people were watching and listening. I realized the zing had died the day I produced a newscast here in Manhattan featuring none other then Barbara Fucking Walters. I didn't care in the least. Babs What? WaWa Who? I don't care. She just better fucking shut up when I give her a 30 second warning. I quickly realized my dream career had lost it's luster. Even sneaking in to watch Regis and Kelly do their business bores me.
I have a journal entry from August of '96,[url=http://woolrichschweizshop.albirank.net/][b]http://woolrichschweizshop.albirank.net/[/b][/url], nearly ten years ago, that says: "I need to travel. To get out of this sheltered town. I want to report the truth in politics, wars, all the lying that goes on in this world we live in. I don't want to live in passivity and ignore it all and let someone else make decisions that impact America. I want to be a part of those decisions, or at least be able to inform the public." Sheesh. What an optimist. Bus as we all know, it isn't that simple is it? Although there are some bright spots and some amazingly talented people, the news industry in turns bores me,[url=http://duveticavestesfr.halod.com/][b]Doudoune Duvetica Femme online[/b][/url], appalls me and never inspires me. I'm not bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, excited to be at the center of all the folks that are "in the know" before the rest of America. I feel like another working stiff teetering on the brink of my thirties.
So today I'm taking stock. Affixing gold stars to my fridge for past accomplishments and setting my sights on loftier goals. I want to get my book published. I want a book with my name on it in the bookstore so bad I can already smell the delicious New Book Smell. I want to start my second book (can I call it a "book" if it's still only a bunch of pages?). I also want to start jogging again. I did already. Jogged today, I mean. Thundering down the sidewalk, ass thump-thumping with the beat of my sneakers,[url=http://cheapsoccercleatsonlinestore.blogspot.com/][b]http://cheapsoccercleatsonlinestore.blogspot.com/[/b][/url], wheezing like a dying old man. I was wheezing,[url=http://woolrichoutletde.albirank.net/][b]Woolrich Outlet[/b][/url], I mean - not my ass. Although if asses could wheeze, mine would have today. It's been a while. It was tough. I almost puked. Almost. Instead, I unwisely ignored an old adage and spat in the wind. Luckily, no one was around to witness the aftermath of that unfortunate decision.
At 29,[url=http://rogervivieroutlet.webmium.com/][b]http://rogervivieroutlet.webmium.com/[/b][/url], my mom was divorced with four children. Wow. That puts my life in freakish perspective. It's strange how swapping the environs of Utah for this crazy Brooklyn life has changed me. I feel free. More alive. Thoughts I never woulda thunk behind the Zion Curtain have taken seed in the dark corners of my brain. Were I turning 29 in the high altitudes of the Utah suburbs right now I think I would be treating myself to a long, luxurious bath. with my toaster.
It's been one year since I've been "home",[url=http://woolrichoutletde.albirank.net/][b]Woolrich Damen Parka[/b][/url]. It's been the best year of my life,[url=http://woolrichoutletde.albirank.net/][b]Woolrich Arctic Parka Woolrich Online Shop Woolrich Damen Parka Woolrich Deutschland Outlet[/b][/url]. It's been the hardest year of my life. I don't know if I would have made it without this blog. It has given me my voice back. Allowed me to say what I wanna say without funneling my words through some news story using industry jargon.
Thanks everyone, for being a part of this journey with me. Your comments, your awesome emails and your willingness to share pieces of yourself have sometimes been the only light on some very dark days. It's not so easy to move to a new city (New York Fucking City at that!) have your husband be gone nearly all of the time, start a new job in the biggest news market in the world and not lose it once in a while.
I was hit with a similar disillusionment about journalism and my work when I was in grad school. Not sure if the industry has changed or if I have; I'm sure a little of both. Growing up there was always the fantasy of being a kick-ass reporter for Rolling Stone, breaking news and changing the world through the power of words. squabble like girls in a middle school bathroom. There was also a fateful conversation with a longtime journalism buddy of mine last year, where we finally admitted to ourselves we were too old to ever be considered prodigies again. But I have realized that no matter how mind-numbing the day-to-day gets, every once in a while there's something that will hurl me back to being a geeked-out kid tingling with excitement. And I have to live for these things,[url=http://duveticavestesfr.halod.com/][b]Doudoune Duvetica[/b][/url], otherwise I would have a similar date with my toaster.
Happy Birthday Monica!When we are children, we can't wait until we get older. Can't wait until we reach 13 years old because then we are a teenager, 16 years of age so we can drive. Then 18 when we can legally move out on our own (well most people that is), then 21 when we are legally allowed to goto bars to drink or be able to buy alcohol. After 21, what age is their too look forward to? That was my thinking. When we were kids, it seemed like getting older would never get here. Now that I'm almost 32 years old,[url=http://duveticashoponline.blogspot.com/][b]duvetica shop online[/b][/url], it's like it's coming faster than the speed of light. 30 came and went. I wasn't excited for it at all. Still not excited for it. My 20's were my best so far. One thing about goals, wanting to do something in life. Years and years ago our grandparents weren't told you can be anything you want at any age. They grew up either being housewives or stuck in the same job. They were told they were too old to do this or change careers. Now in 2006,[url=http://giuseppezanottiweddingshoes.webmium.com/][b]giuseppe zanotti wedding shoes Shop[/b][/url], we have so many more options. Even though I am 32 I know that there are many things I can do no matter how old I am. My mom will be 60 this year. I try to tell her the same. She doesn't always believe me. I told her she could goto college if she wanted. To do something that she loves to do. She keeps talking about getting into PR work. I tell her "Then DO IT!" She brings the age up. I enjoy coming here,[url=http://cheapsoccercleatswithfreeshipping.webmium.com/][b]cheap soccer cleats[/b][/url], reading your thoughts,[url=http://discountparajumperssaleonlinestore.webmium.com/][b]2013 Parajumpers Jackets On Sale Parajumpers Parka Coat Online Store[/b][/url], rants, and ideas. I am honored that you allow us to join in with out comments, insights and opinions. I am honored you have a place for us to share our stories and rants. Thank you!Sorry for the long length comment. Just had stuff to say. Hope you have a wonderful day!
Happy Birthday Monica! The weather in London is FABULOUS today and I'm thinking that the jogging thing might do me some good. My older sister (2 years my senior) was married when she was 1 month shy of 22 (that will be me in August). I am so not close to that, but to a certain degree,[url=http://woolrichoutletde.albirank.net/][b]Woolrich Deutschland[/b][/url], I wish that I was. I'm getting sick and tired of being the tough/single/independent girl that all of my attached friends can count on for a sholder to cry on. I am just wanting to find HIM. It only takes one look at all of the single 30 somethings to create a pit of panic into my stomach. But honestly, there's nothing that I can do!
I know exactly what you fucking mean about age. I turned 31 last year and the sensation is freaky. You make me laugh and laugh. I am always so entertained when I visit here. I am so amazed by your stories, your wit,[url=http://woolrichoutletde.albirank.net/][b]Woolrich Online Shop[/b][/url], your adventures and above all your honesty. What an awesome daughter-in-law I have! I am so lucky ( so is my son). Hope you have a wonderful birthday Monica! George and sweet Pete send you their love and best wishes too. Please come to visit soon. I dressed you in the most beautiful dresses for church and you had to spread your dresses out over the chairs and none of the other little girls could "touch my pretty dress," or it was "don't look at me" to the other girls. You were a spoiled little shit!! Man I miss those times. Anyway I'm getting carried away, and I want to bawl my head off, yeah, yeah I know you hate that. Just want to tell you that I love you and how very proud I am that you are my very own girl. Happy Birthday! Love mom
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