Absence only makes hearts grow more fearful-spun5

Absence only makes hearts grow more fearful
Facts only let you know so much. The psychological dramas that lie behind the reality is as likely as not to stay hidden, even in the people most closely involved in them.
The facts when it comes to Listowel businessman John Kennelly are plain enough. In September, he is at Paris with his wife and 2 of his three grown up children, visiting a furniture trade fair. About the morning of the 9th, when he was designed to fly back to Cork, he told his family he was going for a walk. He left the Meridien Etoile hotel at 7am having a small rucksack containing books and a passport, and promptly disappeared without trace.
Friends and family,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], including FG TD Jimmy Deenihan, a life-long friend of the family,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], organised looks for him, and visiting hospitals and morgues within the city, but with no success. Anything was been told by him until November 5, when John Kennelly walked right into a police station in Paris, claiming that, during the time he was missing, he had been abducted, drugged and repeatedly raped by a gang of men.
Initial reports asserted his claim had been given serious attention. But a week ago, Kennelly was charged through the French police with reporting an incorrect crime, after they discovered CCTV footage of him in Nice in the period he claimed to possess been abducted, as well as photographs of him inside a town in northern France.
A family spokesman confirms the Co Kerry businessman had admitted his story was untrue, and was now in Dublin, receiving treatment. I was told that he had not taken his medication for hypertension during the time of his disappearance and may have suffered loss of memory as a side effect. They also stressed that his actions had been uncharacteristic and the man would be a loving husband and father along with a good man.
There is no reason to doubt them. That is what helps make the story both so fascinating or painful. And unless Mr Kennelly decides to tell his story in his own words, we'll probably don't know what really happened or why he did what he did. Perhaps he doesn't even truly be aware of answer to that question himself. But he's certainly not alone. A cursory look at the Garda Siochana Missing Persons website, shockingly outdated though it is,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], shows that. Some of these people were undoubtedly the sufferers of up to now unsolved crimes, however in most cases the causes of what happened to them may well remain a mystery for ever.
The united kingdom National Missing Persons Bureau records an average of more than 1,200 men older than 18 disappearing in excess of two weeks at a time every year,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and over 700 adult women. Most arrive that belongs to them accord eventually, but you may still find hundreds of individuals who,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], to all intents and purposes, disappear from the face of the earth.
Speculating about the motives of those who voluntarily chose to disappear is a fruitless task. Every case features its own particular emotional geometry. Organisations who work in this area state that the missing often genuinely believe that their disappearance can make life easier for family and friends. Making the missing recognise the trauma of the disappearance is often the first step towards encouraging them to re-establish contact.
But who hasn't, previously or another, mused on the attractions of just absenting themselves from their own life and making another? Of leaving everything that failed behind, just like a snake sloughing off a classic skin? The entire culture is suffused with siren calls to create a new you. A fitter, healthier, thinner, higher-earning, more chilled out and fulfilled you. People who deliberately go missing are only taking the process to its logical conclusion,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], symbolically killing from the old person who hasn't lived up to expectations, their own or someone else's, and starting again with an all new one.
We all wonder sometimes what it really could be like to be a different person.
Convention or perhaps a insufficient imagination -- or, more positively,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the desire to not hurt loved ones who does see it as rejection -- is exactly what holds us back. The missing do what many long to complete,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but don't ever dare take further than daydreaming from anxiety about the consequences.
Georges Simenon, the creator of Maigret including, wrote a novel in 1952 having a surprisingly similar feel to the story of John Kennelly.
"Monsieur Monde Vanishes" is all about a older, typically bourgeois man who runs their own import/export business in Paris and who decides, about the morning of his 48th birthday, to depart behind his life. Norbert Monde within the book is a similar age towards the 47-year-old Kennelly.
Like Kennelly, he heads for the South of France: to Marseilles first, then Nice, abandoning a life which doesn't engage him anymore on any meaningful level. He suddenly sees that he is not really a real person to people around him, or to himself. He wants to understand what it is to be lost, anonymous, invisible. So he walks from his office, exchanges his expensive clothes for cheap ones in a second hand shop,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and boards the train.
Within the South of France, he hangs around with drunks, gamblers, pimps and prostitutes, deliberately seeking out sordid experiences in the expectation that they will be more real compared to staid life through which he was sleepwalking in Paris. As Simenon says: "He would be a man who, for a long period, had endured a persons condition without being alert to it, as others endure a disease which they are unaware." What's so terrific about Simenon is the fact that he doesn't try to explain in a glib way what Monsieur Monde does.
Too many novelists kid themselves,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], like quack therapists, that they have a profound understanding of the minds and motives of strangers, when the truth is that others are unknowable and mysterious, and fundamentally terrifying for that reason. That is why the ending is so shocking but so right, as the protagonist returns, just like suddenly because he left it, to his old existence, offering no explanation or comfort. It's been interpreted variously as the triumphal return of a man that has come to understand that he is able to now shape the planet to his will, he doesn't have to make believe you be considered a different part of order to escape that which was intolerable; otherwise, as seems more credible, as a despairing acceptance that there is little get better anything you do, why bother?
In either case it's powerfully symbolic. And now, like Monsieur Monde, John Kennelly has come back too. That part of the nightmare for his folks are over. Those who return, however, will never be the same as people who went away.
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