My awkward moments in Muslim prayer-spun5

My awkward moments in Muslim prayer
A Muslim who prays in public places is much like Mission impossible, but without the bling, sophisticated gadgets and entourage of gorgeous women eager to bed him. Both brilliantly fail at every attempt for stealth. Such as the fictional secret agent, a Muslim, despite his best intentions and clandestine efforts,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], sticks out just like a pink elephant when instructed to offer his ritualistic prayer,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], salat, away from comforting cocoon of his home or mosque.
Contrary to the fear-mongering asserted by professional Islamophobes, Muslim Americans do not wish to impose their religious practices and beliefs upon their non-Muslim neighbors. The truth is that most people are simply attempting to navigate the sometimes tricky but often entertaining balancing act of adhering to our religious values and rituals while avoiding societal awkwardness and being viewed as modern-day Boo Radleys.
Each time I have to pray and am not able to find a secluded spot, I'd fascination with a magic Muslim portal to spread out and take me away to a fantastic Greyskull castle. Here, I could pray in solitude, shielded from the curious eyes of fascinated and horrified observers and ride on an armored tiger named Battle Cat while drinking mango lassi from the diamond-encrusted goblet.
Unfortunately, I live in reality.
Instead, I discover I've 15 minutes left to wish the afternoon Asr prayer and I stuck in a crowded,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Valley Fair mall in San Jose, Calif. Realizing which i probably be tazed and shot by Homeland Security if I decided to use my Arabic tai chi in the Orange Julius,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I seek temporary refuge for my prayer woes in the most apparent location: the fitting room at the Gap.
I go into the clothing metropolis in a frantic state and pretend to peruse the fine clothing merchandise. I randomly get some accessories and head toward the fitting room stalls simply to realize that I am holding skinny female jeans and a Size 2, purple dress. I hastily dump the incorrect clothing on the wooden bench making sure nobody saw me and run to the men section. I choose to play and get hip, expensive clothing I probably never wear in real life and lug the fashionable suit, jacket and jeans to the fitting room.
After waiting 5 minutes because of the long line,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the ridiculously good-looking female employee directs me to some fitting stall. I cannot bring myself to make eye contact together with her lest I confess my ruse. I rush in to the stall and hang up the clothes about the wall and devise an intricate and sophisticated strategy to secretly pray while to try on hip, urban garments. I ensure that you create as much noise as possible when changing my pants in the brown, Docker, uncle khakis towards the hipster jeans so that they don suspect my celestial intentions.
I leave the rumbled pants on the ground, together with my shoes and my outer shirt,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as visible signs of evidence that i'm indeed by using this fitting room for normal fitting room purposes.
Now, all I must determine is which way is Northeast, because Muslims pray toward Mecca, which event occurred BIP before iPhone. I basically do an with the four corners and opt for my and decided was probably somewhere within the corner nearest to the stall door.
All is well until the prostration, where Muslims need to touch their forehead and nose down. As I about to go to the floor, I had been overwhelmed with a sense of comfort I honestly thought I'd made a successful camouflage using limited means with short time. I felt proud and complimented myself on as being a pretty dope, on-the-fly, Pakistani,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Muslim American James Bond.
My head and knees are now on the floor near the gap in the door, and everything is going smoothly. I glance to my left and the Gap employee, having bent down, has become looking at me and asking, is everything okay? my entire life.
However finish my prayer, mumble, is okay! Just fine! I change my clothes and exit the doorway to locate two Gap employees along with a several customers staring at me with concern and confusion to them.
uh, was praying, yeah,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], uh, Muslim. We, uh, five times each day needed space. Used the stall. Not having heart disease. Don worry. Just thought yeah, OK! Thanks! I peace out like Flash, running for the exit door and deliberately looking to get lost within the crowd and be a brown blurry dot in order to outwit the imagined Gap security running after me.
Other classic awkward moments range from the following memorable gems:
Bay area Abercrombie and Fitch fitting room where the ridiculously good-looking female employee again inquired about,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you OK? Century 21 Winchester movie theater parking area, where hundreds of movie patrons exited the packed screening of Impossible 2 only to discover three brown men praying away from exit door, near the garbage cans. (Thank you, Adil,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], for your brilliant idea.)
The allegedly dark, closed-off corner in AMC Metreon in Bay area while waiting in a crowded line to see Lord from the Rings the corner was neither dark nor closed-off, and you will imagine the rest.
like a group together with several brown friends during the seventh inning of the Oakland A baseball game in between a closed-off escalator and a waitress or stand, and guarded by an African-American park employee who said, all go ahead and pray. I was married to some Muslim man once. finally, my favorite was our extremely well planned and brilliantly executed two-minute prayer drill while visiting Alcatraz prison. We found a concealed room with antiques and that i was the initial watchman, standing outside the door, vigilantly keeping watch for the tour group that was hovering nearby going to bust in on our private prayer session.
Within the years since these colorful incidents, some confused and ignorant Americans have begun protesting the making of mosques in America, citing their presence as fundamentally alien to American values and evidence of a Muslim takeover. Along the way, these misguided individuals appear to have forgotten the very first Amendment and cultural values celebrating diversity and freedom of religion. Preventing the making of mosques (such as the recent controversy in California) have no effect on stealth jihadists. However, it'll unleash a far greater problem for America: a horde of Muslim Americans awkwardly praying in public.
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